Okay, I wish I had this Bible when I started reading. It's so very helpful with introductions to each book that set a cultural and historical context. The commentary clears up many questions I've had as I've been reading. I'm tempted to go back and re read the books I've already read in order to read the commentaries, but I'm determined to finish reading the Bible in its entirety in a year, so I'm going to just keep trucking along and I'll reread the gospels again once I'm finished with the rest of it. Seriously, if you don't have a study Bible, get this one. English Standard Version study Bible. Comes with an online reference guide as well. Amazon $30 for a hardback copy.
I attended my very first Ash Wednesday service tonight at the church that I sometimes attend in Madison. It was a sparse crowd, but I'm nervous around big groups of people, so it was comforting. I didn't have to stress out about what others were thinking about me. As I've stated, I have an emotional reaction to everything, especially when the Spirit overwhelms me, so of course, after the confessional prayer when the preacher looked out and said, "In the name of Jesus Christ you are forgiven!" I start weeping (silently). It's overwhelming. I'm forgiven. Y'all don't even know how big of a relief that is. I know, I know, I was forgiven when I asked for forgiveness for all the mistakes I made in the past back when I had my ultra-conversion in November, but every time I'm reminded that I'm free of those sins, I'm taken aback. I was heavily burdened. I don't "let go" easily. I cling on to mistakes I've made and past regrets so tightly that they start to define who I am and how I interact with others. I am starting to let that go now. I feel an immense easiness about my life and future knowing that Christ walks with me. I'm still trying to wrap my mind around the concept of grace but I'm getting there. I wish I could keep this little cross on my forehead all the time to remind me of that amazing act of unconditional love. To remind me on those toughest days and nights that yes, I am forgiven.
"Then turning toward the woman, he said to Simon, "Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave me no water for my feet, but she has bathed my feet with her tears and dried them with her hair. You gave me no kiss, but from the time I came in she has not stopped kissing my feet. You did not anoint my head with oil but she has anointed my feet with ointment. Therefore I tell you, her sins, which were many, have been forgiven; hence she has shown great love." Luke 7: 44-
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