That's how tired I am. I need biblical permission to just rest. I was sick for the majority of weekend, but I don't think feverish dreams and passing out from dehydration count as rest. I am happy in my work. I enjoy working. I love what I do. I love what I do outside of work; studying the scripture, playing guitar, knitting, jogging, walking my pup, reading novels, etc, but rarely do I take the time to just rest. A scripture comes to mind now that I'm not googling it. When Elijah was listening for the Lord and the voice did not come to him in an earthquake or a roaring wind but it came to him, finally, in an inaudible whisper. If we don't rest, how will we know if God is speaking to us? I need to rest. Really, I need to just listen and have quiet time with God.
Bible study tonight was not what I had envisioned it to be. I probably will not be going back. God speaks to each of us in different ways I believe, and so these women enjoy reading what I term as more of self-help books. I want to read the Word, y'all! I want to actually study the Bible; I mean, I need to. Or at least read books that tell you how to read the Bible. *sigh*
I have my second guitar lesson tomorrow. I hope I've made adequate progress. I'm enjoying learning how to read music. When I was first learning how to play guitar, my teacher just taught me songs, he didn't really set me up for independence. This teacher is having me learn how to read music, so I'll be able to translate this talent over into many other instruments. I would like to learn to play piano and banjo and mandolin and violin and ukelele....
I finished 1 Corinthians tonight! Lots of debatable lessons in there. Especially those verses about women being silent in the church. I like gender roles, personally. I know that's probably strange for a modern woman to say, but I like that men have certain responsibilities to women and to the church and to their family, etc and that women have certain responsibilities to men and to the church and to their family, etc. But before you start pandering me about my backward and conservative ideas, I will steadfastly argue that in the eyes of God and in the eyes of humanity, genders should be equal. But they ARE created different and so are each better-constructed for certain tasks, although I believe God can call whomever He pleases to do whatever He wills and I ain't gonna argue with Him.
I can do anything that a man can do, but when it is time for me to get married, I believe my husband will have the responsibility of being the spiritual head of my household and I will trust him in all matters to decide what's best for me and my family (which is why I'll probably never find a suitable husband). And I will serve him in all wifely duties, not to be named here, etc whatever.
(That entire paragraph I'm sure will be taken out of context for the rest of my life and used against me in a variety of manners).
I've got to start thinking of fundraising ideas to get me to Uganda next summer. I don't like thinking or worrying about money; it's always been an uncomfortable topic for me. It's hard to take money from people without the promise of paying them back. I feel like I need to earn everything that I receive. Hmm. I'll keep myself open to ideas.
Goodnight <3
"Keep alert, stand firm in your faith, be courageous, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love." 1 Corinthians 16:13-14
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