I'm concerned. Nervous. Anxious.
Sometimes I get this overwhelming sense that I'm supposed to do something, or go somewhere, or follow this path, and I think, 'this must be God' because it's such a powerful feeling.
And I wait. And then things go awry. I just can't make sense of where I'm supposed to be headed. I feel like I'm hiking up a mountain in the middle of the night, there's dim moonlight but not enough to see more than a foot ahead, I'm alone and it's quiet. Panic. What if I lose my way? What if I never get to the destination? What if this whole time I've been moving in the wrong direction? What If I didn't read the map correctly?
It's been two weeks since I decided to go to Uganda next summer, but I still haven't heard confirmation. My next year really hinges on the fact that I'm going to Uganda. I've built myself up for it. I can't think of anything else that I want to do more. I feel so sure I'm supposed to go, but what if I misread the plan? My heart will break.
As I'm praying through all of these nations on operationworld.org, I have only added to my list of all the places I want to serve. I need to meet myself a nice Christian man who wants to be a missionary with me so I can just do this for the rest of my life. Taking applications....
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