Being Tested

"No testing has overtaken you that is not common to everyone. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tested beyond your strength, but with the testing he will also provide the way out so that you may be able to endure it." 1 Corinthians 10:13

I love this scripture.  

The past two days have been a test of endurance and patience for me, for sure.  Traveling within itself makes me anxious.  Throw in some mechanical problems, an emergency landing, a tiny airport crowded with a variety of people in a variety of temperaments (insert social anxiety here), a long night before finally getting to a hotel room and passing out from exhaustion, missing a day of work, driving home from the airport in torrential rain for an hour...I feel beat up.  

It is such a relief to be home and reorient myself into a routine.  A chapter in Forgotten God, a moment of reflection, a few chapters or a book of the Bible, prayer.  I still didn't get to play my guitar, but one step at a time I suppose.  I'm so far behind in everything.  I just want to instill in myself these good habits - maybe, God willing that I procreate, to be later instilled in my children.  These habits are important to me, not because I feel like I am required to do them, but because I know I need them.  They remind me that I belong to Him. I'm still adjusting myself to the life of a Christian.  I still haven't figured out how to live it to maximum efficacy.  I want my sense of God to be as intuitive as breathing.  A lot of times I have to stop myself and remember Him.  "oh yeah, I don't have to do all this by myself." "oh yeah, He is watching over me right now to keep me safe." "oh yeah, I should give Him a thank you for an awesome day" I want to train my responses to always be to Him first.  

I can't wait to go to Uganda.  It's the driving force that's keeping my feet on the ground.  I need this experience. I just need to live with God in a different context.  Maybe that's my answer.  Instead of trying to figure out how to be a Christian in America, I should just get out of here. If that's my path, I trust that God will light the way for me -- he'll part the Red Sea and I'll make it across and far away from the Egyptian army.

Good night <3