I've started a new book on my journey into competency with the Word and learning my role in the world as a Christian. It's written differently than what I've been reading; it's more theological and less concrete I suppose. As suggested by the title of this post, I feel like I've read enough lately to "level up" in my competency level with the scripture. I know I'll never know everything. I know as I read things will speak to me differently - such is the beauty of the Bible - but I have a foundation now. I'm no longer toddling around whimpering about my ignorance - I know how to find what I need and what resources are available to me. I can do this with some semblance of confidence and independence now. (Independent of other folks, not independent of God obviously)
I kind of feel like I'm in school again - excitedly underlining passages that hit home and scribbling comments and smilies and asterisks in the margins. It's such a welcome feeling since most of this journey has been filled with anxiety, depression, and panic.
I'm still at peace today. I can hardly believe it. No tears as I prepare to leave a life that has become so very familiar and comfortable for me. No more anxiety. Just calm assurance (blessed assurance). I think most of my anxiety lately has come from just wanting to hold so tightly to a life that no longer brings me happiness. I am glad to be cutting loose of that and turning toward my exciting path to Mukono! I can't wait to meet those kiddos. I love them already.
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